Some weeks I trudge through a desert, but don't make any headway. My kids are still not acting like responsible adults. My husband and I are still not on the same page. My clients are all two steps behind where they started and my manuscript is in worse shape than it was before I started editing.
Those weeks are exhausting. I fall into bed on Friday night and I don't even want a drink. I just want to fade away into oblivion. They are life sucking. They are firing. What's getting burned off is my insatiable need for affirmation and assurance that everything's going to be ok. Because by the end of the week nothing is ok. And I just have to wait through the weekend, resting and half-hearted hoping that the next week will be better.
I just have to make it through and then try again. But when things do perk up (sometimes WEEKS later), my heart forms this new kind of faith—that goes farther than it did before. It believes stronger and can hold out longer without affirmation. It's being refined into the kind of faith that can believe anything, without any visible sign of redemption, that redemption is indeed coming. One bad week at a time.
Unsplash Photo cred: Solen Fayissa
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