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Brandi K Harris, MS, LPC & LMFT

We're All Immature: Ideas for Personal Goals

Can we be graceful with our immaturity? All of us... in different ways.


If we could wrap our heads around the fact that being a human means the potential for growing, healing, and changing every day, maybe we wouldn't feel so much shame when we come up against a speed bump (or a supposed "failure"). Instead of thinking we're supposed to be mature by the time we hit 18, 25, 40, or 80, what if we could just set the bar at "constantly maturing?" What if the only real goal was to be mentally and emotionally healthier today than I was yesterday?


What if all forms of mental illness are closer to immaturity than innate brokenness? And that's not a bad thing, but rather just a thing that is.


What if the recipe for development was:

Improve the context around us and learn new skills.


The poorer we've been cared for, the less able we are to care for ourselves. Attunement plays a HUGE role. If we were not attuned to, we struggle to attune to ourselves and others. If we can connect with those who attune well and learn to attune ourselves, how might the world transform?


A great personal goal might be to learn the skills of...

  1. listening (to self and others),

  2. noticing and caring for emotions,

  3. taking responsibility for innate needs, and

  4. communicating with kindness, clarity and respect.

That person is likely to jump leaps and bounds in their emotional and relational connections—alleviating most of the symptoms that describe depression and anxiety (two of the most common forms of mental illness). And then how much more could they contribute to the healing of the world around them?

Unsplash: Rachel Garcin



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