The culture I live in does not support grief well. We do a lot to avoid feeling sad. We get busy. We rapid fire stimulate our brains. We get ugly with each other. Very few of us spend time just sitting in our grief and letting ourselves feel the deep wounds that come from such a painful world. We assume we won't be able to survive it.
Many people think grief is actually a dark cave you can get lost in, an underground cave of mazes with no hope and no recovery. So we avoid it.
But productive grief is actually a tunnel. It's so long and dark that you can't typically see the other end without going into it quite a ways. To face it, you have to believe that there's actually a way through. You need at least one solid companion to comfort you there in the dark.
Sadness is the only place where pain becomes a seed. Avoidance, disgust, shame--these, friend, are the weeds. --KJ Ramsey
Believing that grief is actually a tunnel, a pathway forward, can set you free from the endless cycle of distraction you may have found yourself in. Imagine yourself just circling the drain. It's a hard journey to face your pain, but a very rewarding one. This is what it means to do your emotional work. It requires feeling your feelings. It requires vulnerably opening yourself up to a safe companion. It requires a step of faith, but the only way to heal the pain is through the pain.
Unsplash Eryk Fudala
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